Imagine you're tasked with promoting a town to investors. It's biggish (over 200,000 people) and fairly well-known. It may not enjoy the best reputation, it may indeed have previously been voted Crap Town of the year, but it's got excellent transport links. It should really sell itself. That is, unless you're blindingly incompetent.
Step forward the "Regenaration Team" of Luton Borough Council. Yes, that's right, they can't even spell their own name. Here's the advert I saw while bored on an Easyjet flight yesterday:
Want your investment to take off
think Luton think success....
Whether you're an expanding or re-locating business or a potential development investor, why not find out how Luton can be a part of you future success.
For more information please contact The Regenaration Team
Let's count the mistakes:
1. The slogan. Impolite (they should have added 'do you' to the start because it reads like a threat - invest in Luton, or we'll make sure it doesn't take off).
2. Slogan again. No question mark.
3. Needless capital letter on "Investment", since it isn't in German, so it's silly to capitalise nouns.
4. No comma in "think Luton think success"...
5. and a pointless ellipsis afterwards.
6. Daft council jargon. What's a "potential development investor"?
7. "A part of you future success". By this point, it's like they're not trying and have hired a semi-literate five-year-old to finish off.
8. No question mark to go with "why not".
9. No comma after "For more information".
10. Unimaginative , generic background.
Luton - home of lazy, illiterate bureaucrats. How attractive is that to "potential development investors"?